Well friends, it feels like YEARS since I’ve blogged.  Or posted some photos.  Shared a session or a wedding.  And while it certainly has been awhile since any of that has happened, there’s definitely been a good reason.

And her name is Maddie.

Becoming a mom this past year was crazy.  Just absolutely amazing and my entire world shifted.  This little human became my utmost priority and having her unlocked a level of joy that I never knew existed and a type of love that I can’t quite put into words.

But becoming a mom for the first time can be challenging.  There’s little time for yourself or your to do list.  And I found that nothing can quite prepare you for motherhood.  I knew things would change and that free time would be less but it’s so much more than that.  Even after having 15+ years of experience nannying and teaching, the role of motherhood is so entirely different.  It’s a 24/7 job that is accompanied by unconditional love, lack of sleep, excitement, worry, euphoria and doubt. Finding balance in it all has been at times difficult especially when I originally figured I would still be able to do most the things that I did prior to having a baby plus everything else that comes with having a little one.  This now makes me laugh.  There were many days early on where just getting dressed or making the bed or finding time to tackle the laundry were huge accomplishments.

But you know what?  For the most part, I’ve grown to be ok with that.

Because all that time I used to spend doing my to do list is now investing in something much more important.  My precious daughter.

She’s only going to be this little once.  So somewhere along the way, I just decided to stop worrying about trying to do everything and just soak up this time with her.  It’s been a long process of learning to really prioritize things and to stop worrying about trying to be perfect.  Because nothing on that list beats time snuggling with her.  Reading her a book.  Being silly, singing songs or having a dance party.  These are the things that have become my top priorities.

It’s no easy task.  It’s a constant daily struggle to not let the doubts get to you.  Or to compare yourselves to others and how they seem to manage it all.  Which has been challenging throughout this year and it brings me to my next point.

Running a business while adapting to all the changes motherhood brings is super hard.

My photography business has been such a labor of love and I have invested countless hours and blood, sweat and tears into it over the past 5 years.  I love my clients so much and take my responsibilities incredibly seriously.  But I’m not going to lie, this past year was tough.  I started back to work earlier than I was really ready to and we had a packed summer season.  I tried to plan as best I could beforehand and I’m thankful I did take a lighter load than normal but it was still a challenge to try and find the time to finish up everything.  But through the help of my husband, family and many many insanely late nights of editing, answering emails and trying to tackle all the business responsibilities, somewhere along the way, things did get done.  I’m just so thankful for my clients and their grace and understanding as I tried to figure it all out this past year.  And this coming year is all about perfecting that balance between work, family and life.

I truly loved these past 12 months and 2014 will always hold such a special place in my heart.  And I’m excited for the rest of 2015 and whatever it may bring.  I’ve got so many blogs to write, sessions to post and I can’t wait to share all the projects and shoots from the past 12+ months.  In the meantime, here’s a recent photo of me and my little Maddie over Christmas.  How she will be one tomorrow is beyond me?!?  I keep wishing for time to slow down but it’s flying by at such a rapid pace.  Every month though brings so many firsts and new things with Maddie and we just are completely enamored with watching her grow and learn.

Life is such fun with this little one by my side.

What a beautiful, amazing, blessed and exhausting month it has been!  Our little lovebug, Madison, was born on March 12 after 51 long hours of labor and quite the crazy delivery story (more on that in a future post).  She is the sweetest little thing and we are so in love with her.  Motherhood is one of the greatest things that has ever happened to me and I am soaking up and savoring this time with her and our family.

As most of you know, I’m currently on maternity leave and will be until mid-May when wedding season starts back for us.  I will be taking on less projects and weddings for the remainder of this year and am fully booked through July.  In the meantime, patience is much appreciated with responding to emails and inquiries.  🙂

So many more photos and thoughts to share, but for now, here is a look into our last month through some iphone photos.  And if you’d like to follow along with our journey on Instagram, you can do so here (Kimberly_Chan).

Thank you all so much for your love and support during this exciting time!  xoxo

Phew.  What a whirlwind of excitement, joy, stress, anticipation and anxiousness these past 9 months have been.  As we are only days away from Baby Chan’s due date and not so patiently waiting for the little one to arrive, it seems crazy how fast this pregnancy has gone by on the whole.  There have been those days where it feels like I’ve been pregnant forever and time moves by at a snail’s pace (more so in recent days) but for the most part, this pregnancy has flown by in the blink of an eye.  So much so that I realized I have not kept up blogging at all about this special time.  So get ready for a semi-condensed version of what the past 25 weeks have looked like in our lives.

One of the most amazing and exciting days of this journey was the day we found out whether we were having a boy or a girl.  Matt and I definitely wanted to find out the gender but not in the doctor’s office surrounded by an ultrasound tech or doctor or nurse.  So we opted to have them write the gender down secretly and seal it in an envelope that we took to a baker who made us a cake with the corresponding colored icing in the middle.  I ended up having to deliver that envelope to the baker and it took all my willpower not to peek or open it beforehand.  But I knew it would all be worth it to find out the news surrounded by family and friends.

We had to wait 2 days until our party with our loved ones.  I’m terrible with secrets and waiting so it was a long 2 days.  Everyone had their guesses and so did we.  I was sure we were going to be having a boy and Matt guessed we were having a girl.  Both sets of our parents guessed it was going to be a girl.  Then the moment arrived and we found out we were having a…

GIRL!  To say I was shocked would be an understatement.  I was so so certain it was going to be a boy and I just couldn’t believe it.  It took almost a full week to sink in.  We were so overjoyed at the blessing of a beautiful baby girl and we couldn’t have been more thankful to share that moment of finding out with our family and friends.

A special thanks to all our loved ones who were there with us to celebrate! Your love and support means so much to us!

The next few months were a whirlwind of packing, moving, unpacking and getting settled into our new home that we bought in September.  Moving while pregnant was a bit of a nightmare but we managed.  It definitely has taken a lot longer to settle in and get things all set up though.  I’m so used to being able to push through even when I’m tired but pregnancy has forced me to slow down.  Which I know is a good thing but it has taken me a long time to get used to not being able to do everything.

Working and photographing while pregnant took some adjusting to as well but thankfully, I really do have the best clients!  You all have made the process as smooth as possible and I’m so grateful.

And then there’s the never-ending growing of the belly.  Pregnancy really has left me in awe of the human body and the God who made us all.  How my body can grow and nourish another little human is so amazing.  Feeling her kicks and movements has been one of the greatest things about being pregnant and even though I have yet to see her face, I’m so incredibly smitten with her.  She seems to already have a personality all her own and I can’t wait to shower her with kisses and love as I get to know her outside of the womb.  Even though being pregnant has been anything but easy for me, the ability to carry a child has been such a blessing and one that I am so thankful for each and every day.

This next step into parenthood is so huge and one that at times terrifies me.  The fact that another little soul is completely dependent on Matt and I overwhelms me.  But I know we’re not alone in this.  God will help guide us and give us strength and has surrounded us with such a great support system of family and friends.  Even through the uncertainty, I’m beyond excited to be a mom and start a family with my best friend.  The fact that this little girl is part me and part him is truly amazing.

Matt and I have been together for 13 years and even though this next stage will be a huge adjustment for us both, I can’t wait to see him as a dad.  I know he is going to be incredible and that no little girl will be loved more.  So thankful to have him by my side and as my partner in life.  He really is the best.

A few weeks ago, one of my closest friends who also happens to be a talented photographer took some photos for us to remember this special time in our lives.  Many thanks to AnnaLisa Banuelos for these photos that will warm my heart whenever I see them.

Baby girl’s due date is March 7 which means she could be here any day now.  It fills my heart with such joy to know that in a matter of hours or days, we will get to hold this beautiful blessing in our arms and shower her with love.  Prayers for a smooth and safe delivery much appreciated and we can’t wait to update you all on her arrival.  Till then, thank you all for your love.  xoxo

Follow along on Instagram (Kimberly_Chan)